The Biggest Sea Lion, the Wildest Heart
“But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you.
Which of all these does not know
that the hand of the Lord has done this?
In his hand is the life of every creature
and the breath of all mankind." Job 12
Nearly every day at fishcamp is a day of life and birth and blood.
In my house, my dog Sophie brings forth young, birthing each into my hand.
The spider in the corner window lures the fly, wraps a wicked cocoon around the buzzing struggle, and soon he moves no more.
Fish are caught and gutted and walked up the hill to my kitchen, where my knives and hands parse its red flesh into lunch.
I leave the house to sit and watch the eagles, young and old,
who spin the sky blue, and watch for fish to feed their brood.
Out in the bay, I hear fin whales spouting, He rises and falls, feeding.
Sea lions skirt the nets, shopping for fish, blasting sea from their nostrils so loud I can hear it on top of the hill,
then haul out on rocks and reefs, argue and fight over king of the rock, rule by force and heft and roar.
(And isn't he the ugliest, most massive sea lion you have every seen?)
Everything on the hunt. Everything looking to kill.
Which means, everything looking to feed and live.
And I am the wildest thing out here, I know.
Me with my camera, stalking and shooting their beauty and
blood, me with my untamed heart
that wants not to yield to another.
(Not even
sometimes to You, O Lord.)
And can't I kill with a single word?
Can't I maim without talons or teeth?
Just to speak or withhold speech alone
can do someone in. How powerful
the tongue, how wild and dark this wandering heart!
But these creatures live as they must and as they should, as they were made.
They set out each day to do all that God has put
in their thumping animal heart to do.
And they do it well,
so boldly and so thoroughly,
they are never not praising You, O Lord.
Simply by living, flying, breathing, roaring, swimming and
spinning
they speak the language you have given them.
They delight you,
they love you
and you love them back. Entirely.
(Even that king-of-the-rock sea lion!)
They are all you created them to be.
Would you grant us this, too, Lord?
Would you so inhabit our wild hearts that we only want
to do what You have created us to do,
So that we please you,
we delight you,
And in all we do we love you back?
Would you do this in us?
Even now?
"In his hand is the life of every creature
and the breath of all mankind."